Apparently my subconscious is extremely protective of me. Allow me to offer up some examples (try not laugh)…

(1) I visited my sister S just after finals during my freshman year at Purdue. She was living in Arizona at the time. The first night we get there, S gets the “brilliant” idea to scare me in the middle of the night. So, here I am in a strange state, strange house, just coming off of finals week, and my older sister thinks it’s a good idea to terrify me. She (no kidding) crawled through the dark on all fours, got up next to my bed, and started to get up on her knees. At this point, my subconscious took over and I vaguely remember being aware that there was a presence in the room. I sat bolt upright, at which point S was probably thinking “Oh crap.” I reached out, and slapped the “intruder” (my poor sister) as hard as I could, knocking her up against the wall and actually scratching her face. I think I remember her telling me that she saw stars. I felt really bad about it the next morning, but thinking about it now and relating the story to others just cracks me up! Sorry, S!

(2) About a year and a half after getting married, Chris gets the “brilliant” idea to scare me while I’m in the shower. It was nighttime (but of course that doesn’t really matter since I don’t bathe in the dark, right? Still, it seems scarier at night. Anyway.). I was in the shower with our blue shower curtain (i.e., not see-through), and the exhaust fan was running. Chris was probably fighting to control his snickering as he crouched up onto the toilet seat and looked over the shower rod. I was washing my face, so I’m already looking through soapsuds when I see a head appear in my peripheral vision. Once again, my subconscious took over and I went after him! I didn’t actually get out of the shower, but there was definite forward momentum. I’m embarrassed to say this, but I went right for his eyes – hey, I was not going to be attacked by some creep! Of course, the “creep” was my husband, a fact which I recognized before doing any permanent damage. Sorry Honey!

(3) Chris and I were visiting his parents last Thanksgiving. I went to bed before he did, and he came in a few hours later. I was sound asleep, and unfortunately for Chris, I was having a nightmare that someone was trying to strangle me. Chris gets in bed, sees me sleeping, and thinks “Awww, she’s so cute!” and tries to get closer to me. Once again, my subconscious took over. I hit him in the stomach without really waking up, and only became semi-aware when he asked “Hey! How come you hit me?!” He told me later that I mumbled something unintelligible about “death” and “strangling” and “don’t come near me”, and then I rolled over. I’m sure he slept with one eye open that night!